The Vandal – Derek Haines

It’s fun learning a new language. But sometimes trying to use direct word for word translation can result in some very funny expressions! Private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION. Hotel bedroom, Japan: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED. Doctor’s surgery, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR. Hotel, Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE. Hotel airconditioner instructions, Japan: COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF. Zoo, Hungary: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE

Cna Yuo Raed Tihs Txet? Oh, ts’i aesy! For those of us who write, proofreading and error correction is a necessary process, no matter how time-consuming it may be. However it is frighteningly difficult to find some of these errors on occasions because our brain can do very silly things when we read. As you will see when you read this lovely little test below. Now it is no surprise to understand why proofreading is so difficult.

The most common sound when we make in English is called the Schwa. It represents up to 15% of our utterances. However, so few people have heard of it. It’s the sound we make when we say ‘cup of tea’, and really say ‘cuppa tea’. It’s this little ‘uh’ sound we use in this example that is the schwa and in phonetics, an upside down ‘e’ is used to represent the schwa. Now have fun finding this common but very small sound. A curvaceous young phoneme called schwa, Said “I never feel strong. It’s bizarre! I’m retiring and meek, And I always sound weak, But in frequency counts – I’m