I have to kill a book. It’s a dog. It’s not easy to come to the conclusion that a book you have painstakingly written is a failure, but sometimes you have to take it on the chin, let it go and decide to kill a book. I made this decision after watching one particular book of mine fail at every turn. No amount of free ebook giveaways or promotion helped the poor darling, so I made the decision to unpublish it, and file it away under experience. By some weird coincidence, though, when I finally got up the courage to hit the kill buttons, both Amazon’s KDP and Createspace sites were down! They
Tips for writing your first book One important decision to make before writing your first book, or second or third for that matter, is to decide if it will be written in the first person or third person. I was typical of most when I wrote my first book. It was about me, so naturally, it was written in the first person which naturally meant I, me and myself came grammatically first. I did this, I did that, he told me, I was there, for example. It was only after reading a number of debut books that I realised how common it is to write about your own experiences in
A young friend, who was about to celebrate her twentieth birthday, asked me this question. “What twenty things would you tell a twenty-year-old about life?” After recovering from the shock of the being asked this question, and knowing that there surely isn’t a twenty-year-old living on this planet who would bother listening to me, I thought, well, why not? After making my decision, my only problem was stopping at twenty. So here we go with my abbreviated list of hard earned life lessons that no twenty-year-old in their right mind will ever pay any attention to. 1. Never listen to anything said by anyone over the age of twenty-one. It
My memory of Barry Humphries Barry Humphries has always inspired me. Better known to many all around the world as Dame Edna Everidge, it is the other talents of Humphries that I have most admired. Writer, actor and teller of tales. I wrote the following piece based on the style and my memory of a monologue I once heard him deliver in a one-man show many, many moons ago. A Monologue – Of Memories As electric toasters go, it was a classic. All Australian mined metal and made by Aussies in blue overalls somewhere near Glebe probably. Weren’t they were the days? When Aussies made stuff for Aussies and played
An author, musician, writer, poet, very lazy soul, teacher, grandfather? Who knows? From his own description below, it seems he doesn’t really know who the Vandal is either.
Derek Haines is an author of quite a number of books but he spends most of his time blogging and making technology go horribly wrong.
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