Vampire Fetish Fear

vampire cult fetishAt the end of every day, late in the evening while walking my dog in the moonlight, I have been recently ever watchful. Keeping my eyes peeled for those loveable creatures of the night – vampires. Now you might think this rather odd, but there is a reason. I think my blog is being followed and tracked by a coven of sexy, bloodsucking vampire escapees from our local cemetery who now have a fetish for The Vandal.

Now I I can hear you guffawing from here at my fear, but every morning, as is my ritual, I check how readers came to stumble upon my blog and every morning it is the same fearsome result.

You think I jest. Well take a look at this snapshot below of the keywords people (well, can I call the undead people?) have used in their choice of search engine that has led them directly to The Vandal. I think you would have to agree that this is staggeringly fearsome for me to know that in strict percentage terms, my blog is being stalked by a goodly portion of the world’s vampire population.

vampire keywordsAfter hours of agonising research, I think I have discovered a couple of reasons why The Vandal has become a vampire search magnet. It was my fault as usual, as I found after searching my blog for vampires references, there were two posts that could perhaps be causing the problem. Featuring Grandpa from the Munsters in one post was probably a mistake, but linking vampires with McDonalds in another was more likely the culprit.

It seems Google may have done their job particularly well in this instance and included these two offending posts in the ‘Search Here For Vampires’ tool and indexed them somewhere near top position.

I am sure you understand now why I am so fearful at night when I walk my dog in the dark streets, constantly looking over my shoulder and keeping one hand firmly covering my jugular. As yet I haven’t resorted to wearing garlic around my neck or carrying a precautionary stake, but I have been asking my dog to be extra attentive and to keep his howling to an absolute minimum. However, if I am attacked, I can only hope that I am lucky enough to be sucked dry by a very pretty vampire.

4 thoughts on “Vampire Fetish Fear”

  1. If they’re Vampires, how come Yalla wasn’t spooked? Dogs like all animals are supposed to be super sensitive to the weird and wonderful.

    If you ask me he should be fired from his responsibility of guard dog. lol :D

  2. You do realise you’ve just compounded the problem, right? They’re BOUND to getcha now! :D

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