There are some crimes our legislators are continually ignoring, and I really believe the following misdemeanors should be added to the Criminal Code with immediate effect.
Any person or persons ensconced in a supermarket check out queue who darts off to fetch an article or two they forgot, and hence create a check out traffic jam should be punished with the full force of the law.
Any person or persons who send an email to more than five people and forgets to use the bcc field need to feel the full weight of justice for clogging up email headers. Not to mention the security breach in making public the list of fools who read their multi-forwarded email jokes.
Any person or persons who conduct a conversation about the weather while holding an elevator door open should know that a long custodial sentence awaits them. This shamelessly selfish act needs a strong deterrent.
Any person or persons who use ALL CAPS in social media messaging should be HEAVILY fined and suffer a VERY LONG suspension of their internet service. REPEAT offenders should face the THREAT OF imprisonment.
Any person or persons who conducts a loud conversation on a mobile telephone on a bus or train and uses the phrase ‘Yes, I know,’ more than five times in a row should face the threat of immediate citizens arrest, tied up, gagged and deposited at the nearest police station to face a good old fashioned ‘telephone book’ bashing.
Any person or persons who take longer than thirty seconds to deposit their hand luggage in the overhead locker of an aircraft during boarding should be immediately arrested, removed bodily and forced to undergo a long re-education program by a cooperative communist regime.
Any person or persons who conduct the business of busking on street corners with a repertoire of only two songs should be arrested and sentenced to incarceration for ninety days while being forced to listen to ‘Achy Breaky Heart’ on perpetual loop twenty-four hours a day.
Please feel free to add your own suggestions.