Crime scene

There are some crimes our legislators are continually ignoring, and I really believe the following misdemeanors should be added to the Criminal Code with immediate effect.

Any person or persons ensconced in a supermarket check out queue who darts off to fetch an article or two they forgot, and hence create a check out traffic jam should be punished with the full force of the law.

Any person or persons who send an email to more than five people and forgets to use the bcc field need to feel the full weight of justice for clogging up email headers. Not to mention the security breach in making public the list of fools who read their multi-forwarded email jokes.

Any person or persons who conduct a conversation about the weather while holding an elevator door open should know that a long custodial sentence awaits them. This shamelessly selfish act needs a strong deterrent.

Any person or persons who use ALL CAPS in social media messaging should be HEAVILY fined and suffer a VERY LONG suspension of their internet service. REPEAT offenders should face the THREAT OF imprisonment.

Any person or persons who conducts a loud conversation on a mobile telephone on a bus or train and uses the phrase ‘Yes, I know,’ more than five times in a row should face the threat of immediate citizens arrest, tied up, gagged and deposited at the nearest police station to face a good old fashioned ‘telephone book’ bashing.

Any person or persons who take longer than thirty seconds to deposit their hand luggage in the overhead locker of an aircraft during boarding should be immediately arrested, removed bodily and forced to undergo a long re-education program by a cooperative communist regime.

Any person or persons who conduct the business of busking on street corners with a repertoire of only two songs should be arrested and sentenced to incarceration for ninety days while being forced to listen to ‘Achy Breaky Heart’ on perpetual loop twenty-four hours a day.

Please feel free to add your own suggestions.

There Should Be A Law Against That

16 thoughts on “There Should Be A Law Against That

  • 13/06/2011 at 1:13 pm
    Permalink

    Dear SchriBlur Mayirp, I like to use like as it was meant to be used. A verb and adverb. Instances of it being used as a discourse marker should be immediately replaced by eh, um and mmm. ! And Hip what? I know about Hip transplant. :)

  • 13/06/2011 at 1:22 pm
    Permalink

    Well Peter Mac, I avoided mentioning politicians as they are in a separate and much higher criminal category. Tucked neatly just between bank robbers and serial killers in fact. I agree though that the criminal code should be revised to add 'Using a lot of long words and saying absolutely nothing for longer than two minutes' as a capital offence! lol

  • 14/06/2011 at 2:37 am
    Permalink

    Jack, Muldoon was probably not intentionally evil. He just thought he knew better than anyone else did about everything and took no advice on anything. I'm not sure whether this was because his ego was even bigger than his waistline or he actually believed he was God. He was finally brought down by a young lesbian who crossed the floor and brought down the National Government.

  • 22/07/2011 at 11:24 am
    Permalink

    Here’s another ~ People who throw lit cigarettes out of the window of their car! They should be lined up against a wall and repeatedly shot with lit cigarettes by the thousands!
    Also, those ignoramuses who litter our streets and hiking trails with trash and garbage! They should be banned from walking on streets and hiking trails for at least 10 years for the second offence {they get only one warning}

  • 18/08/2011 at 7:08 pm
    Permalink

    Whoever makes plain phrases like “eating cake is bad 4 u” sound like a question not a statement should b given a 4 yr jail sentence and 4cd to eat cake opon release

Comments are closed.