The Clown by Derek Haines

The Clown

Everybody’s happy; I’m everybody’s clown,
I always wear my smiling face, even when I’m feeling down.
No one sees the tears I shed, every single day,
“Make me smile; I’m feeling sad,” all the world does say.

And so I make them laugh, and warm them from within,
They all think they love the clown, but I let nobody in.
My greasepaint smile, always there, for that is all they see,
Everybody loves the clown, but no one will love me.

It’s not because some haven’t tried, but they have tried in vain.
I am so unsure that I can love, without causing pain.
The gift of love is the power to hurt, and so hurt they will be,
That now I flinch in fear almost, when love approaches me.

I crave the warmth a woman brings, as any man would do,
But lying deep within me, is the fear I will hurt you.
So if you want the man that lies beneath the wide smile charm,
Be prepared to bring with you, a very soothing balm.

For it will take a woman, with patience, warmth and care,
To wipe away the greasepaint smile, and find me under there.
And when she finds the man I am, and sees the wounds I bear,
Will she have the courage, to take me in her care?

And will I have the strength I need, and trueness to the core,
To return her love and care, and make her all I will live for.
I live in hope that just maybe, this special woman lives,
And we can share the happiness that true love always gives.

Alas, I fear I’ll never find the happiness I seek,
I lick my wounds but always find a reason to be weak.
So anytime I hear the words, “Oh My Clown, I love you”.
I cringe and find my hiding place, then run to somewhere new.

Written by Derek Haines

My Clown I Love You

 

Excerpt from My Clown, I Love You.

 

 

 

 

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13 thoughts on “The Clown

  • 03/10/2011 at 11:14 am
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    Beautiful, poignant, sad, happy all rolled into one Derek. Nice :D

  • 03/10/2011 at 8:54 pm
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    So true for so many people, not just clowns!

    • 03/10/2011 at 9:29 pm
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      So true Fatima. It is a little allegorical, so could be read in many ways.

  • 03/10/2011 at 9:02 pm
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    Lovely poem Derek, very calming. It brought to my mind another poem along the same lines, called “Reflective Smile” it’s actually a music track on the 1981 album “Long Distance Voyager” by the Moody Blues. Theirs is quite hard and cynical, but check it out if you get the chance.

    • 03/10/2011 at 9:30 pm
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      A challenge Chris. Now I have to go hunting in my LP collection for my Moody Blues albums!

  • 04/10/2011 at 2:00 pm
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    You have an honest writing.
    As i was reading this, it didn’t feel like i was reading a poem (that’s a good thing for me :) ).
    More like… i entered somebody’s mind and read his thoughts.
    You write it as you feel it in a simple ( though, not simplistic) way.

    It’s possible the woman will bear wounds, too.
    So, in that case, it will take enormous quantity of love from both sides.

  • 03/12/2011 at 4:43 pm
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    Absolutely beautiful. I’m tweeting it, as I do with all your articles and posts. Your blog is always worth the visit. I hope life brings you many good things, Derek.

    • 03/12/2011 at 8:00 pm
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      Thanks Amy. Your comment make all the effort in getting a post up each day worthwhile. :)

  • 18/02/2012 at 2:07 pm
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    Derek, this poem was heartfelt, so warm. It was as if reading a mini love story. The image and words will linger with me for a while. :)))

  • 05/03/2017 at 1:11 am
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    Wel said Derek, well said!

  • 08/09/2017 at 10:09 am
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    We all hide behind our masks, some more than others. It takes a lot of personal work and spiritual work to heal the wounds. So may authors explore this theme and it goes to make great literature. Poetry cuts deeply and quickly to core emotions. Prose is a different medium with a more patient build up. Might compare the two modalities as you would 20/20 cricket is to Test cricket. There is a place for both. I did relate to and appreciate your poem.

  • 30/12/2017 at 6:58 pm
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    There’s always somebody out there.The tricky bit is finding the right one.

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