Births Deaths MarriagesIt was a daily ritual for my grandmother to read the births, deaths and marriages section in her newspaper. Her routine and a way to keep up with events in the family. This thought struck me when I suddenly realised (yes, I am a bit slow) that our local newspaper only has a small section announcing a few local funerals.

So I was thinking. With all the technology available today, why isn’t there a website devoted to hatches, matches and dispatches worldwide? Like Facebook, but with a real purpose.

There are of course government sites that list some of this information, but it is usually months or years before the information is listed. What I think would be great, would be a website where everyone could post their happy and sad events and then I could just do a quick search to see if anyone in my circle of family and friends had dropped a bundle, got hitched or kicked the bucket.

This information would be far more interesting than getting nonsensical invitations to play stupid games on Facebook, or be rudely invited to buy someone’s new vampire book on Twitter. Far more enjoyable to get messages saying, ‘I’m a Dad!’ ‘I just got hitched, again!’ or ‘My Granddad’s on his way upstairs.’

This could be a real winner. A site for the whole family. I’m sure if my grandmother was still alive, she would be the very first to register. A site not only for a quick morning scan and statistical information, but a special place for all those wonderful new born baby photos and wedding snaps. Maybe just some drunken pics from the wake for the last category.

Now before you get too excited, this idea will have to be undertaken by someone other than me. I’m just too chronically lazy to even contemplate doing anything with this idea. But if you are so inclined, perhaps it would be a great venture for someone. Just imagine the income stream possibilities by finally having a place on the Internet where funeral directors could advertise. Pay per Click coffin advertising. What about baby products and wedding planners. The possibilities are endless.

So, who is going to grab this idea by the scruff of the neck? Well, if it’s you, just send my commission to my Paypal account!

Hatches, Matches and Dispatches
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5 thoughts on “Hatches, Matches and Dispatches

  • 04/10/2011 at 3:46 pm
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    Probably, should be me, cause that would make my mother and my aunts and uncles very happy! It’s their hobby, you know… Calling each other on the phone and ‘announcing’ weddings, deaths (especially deaths), divorces… My uncle calls my mom and he goes… “do you remember the brother of our cousin’s cousin? Well, he died!”.

    “Pay per Click coffin advertising” :lol:

    Good one!

  • 04/10/2011 at 10:48 pm
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    The clearest sense of age I have noticed in myself, is my growing propensity to read in my local paper the ‘hatches,matches and dispatches’. It used to be that I was reading the police beat and seeing the names of all the people I went to high school with who causing a ruckus. Now… mid-thirties and starting to turn the corner.

  • 28/01/2012 at 12:16 am
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    I remember my grandma reading out the names of a couple of people she knew who had died of old age and were younger than her.

    I was thinking how depressing it must be to have very little, other than death, to look forward to and asked her how it made her feel. She said lucky.

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