I’m no idiot when it comes to computers and the internet. Ever since my first little Commodore 64 and playing Ping Pong on a black and white TV with my sister I’ve been able to muddle my way through. Sometimes there are things that take a little longer to master like programming Access or learning the basics of HTML, but the one thing that has got me completely baffled is Facebook.
Facebook reminds me of how it felt when I wanted to program a VCR. No matter how hard I tried, it was impossible to figure out. I don’t know how many times I recorded half a documentary about penguins followed by half an old Tyrone Power movie when I had my heart set on watching the football match I thought I had recorded.
One good thing about VCRs though was that they did stay the same and didn’t change themselves overnight and create a whole new way of recording what you hadn’t intended to record. But Facebook. It changes all the time. So often in fact, if I do set aside half an hour to figure it out, the ‘Help’ section hasn’t caught up with the current changes so I’m on my own. Alright, I can see my feed and my profile and wall, but where in Dicken’s name are the pages I ‘Liked’? How am I supposed to go have another look at it if it’s hidden in a place only someone with a degree in computer science can find?
The little chat input text box is so small, it must have been designed for gnats with bifocals. It took me days and a lot of serious questioning of people to find out how to make it big enough for human eyesight. Applications and games drive me crazy. I just do NOT want to know your bloody score in Farmville thank you very much. About as interesting as watching grass grow. In winter! I’m not interested in knowing the answer to secret questions about me. I already know the answers dimwit! And please don’t invite me to an event. We don’t even love in the same country idiot!
So, I want to get rid of this crud. Yes, well here we go on another infinitely time wasting treasure hunt. Oh, I give up. Nice score you got. Oh and a new haystack. Marvellous!
I know Facebook is the most popular thing in the world since the invention of the wheel, but for the life of me, I can’t figure it out.