Old VampiresSome time ago, I ventured into writing a silly blog post about the genre of the moment. Damn vampires. Then for some very odd reason, some people found what I had written rather tasty and prompted them to ask for more of Agatha and Reggie. Fools!

Being a very accommodating sort of fellow though, I thought well, why not give it a try? This was some time ago and I can happily report today that, yes I have lengthened the story out to a novella, and secondly that it was really just bloody terrible. I can confirm this because I sent my first draft to a very well read and trusted vampire, Twilight and qualified teenage reader, (who will remain anonymous for now) who said and I quote, ‘Don’t you know anything about vampires and teenagers?’

Then followed a copy of my draft with probably more notes than words in the original manuscript explaining where I went wrong. Apparently I made a grave error in thinking vampires like hanging around old graveyards and being well, a little less glamorous than Naomi Campbell. I suppose this comes from my thinking that vampires are not the nicest of creatures wandering the night. This is clearly my error, as it seems that in today’s literature they are so ‘ice cool’ they belong on the cover of Hello magazine.

This really tells me that my Bela Lugosi idea of a vampire might indeed be out of date. Even if I jump forward to Christopher Lee, I’m probably still behind the times. I did take notice of Catherine Deneuve’s vampire, but even this is 30 years old.

So it seemed that I had to go back to the drawing board on this one. But I didn’t give up. After a lot of hard work I had second draft ready. This time I gave it to my wife to get a reaction. I got it. ‘Hated it!’.

So what to do with this absolutely stupid project? A vampire story in my own, some kindly say unique, style and voice. A culture clash bigger than the Big Bang or as silly as Tom Cruise playing Goliath.

Drop it and move on?

 

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That Damn Vampire Again
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13 thoughts on “That Damn Vampire Again

  • 20/11/2011 at 5:42 pm
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    This reminds me of the old saying – If you lock a hundred vampires in a room with a hundred typewriters, sooner or later one of them will write a love poem for a nineteen year old girl…

  • 20/11/2011 at 7:35 pm
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    Well Andrew, it seems this little tale would benefit from a few additional typewriters! :)

    • 25/11/2011 at 12:59 am
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      I’m sure you would do a better job of it than the typical, mooning lovesick vampires that overflow the bookshelves lately.

      Vampries used to be real hard cases. Now they’re all in love with some young woman who would have been nothig more than a light snack a few years ago.

      Where did they suddenly come from – were they all deported from Gloth and shipped down here?

      • 25/11/2011 at 10:21 am
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        I don’t recall any vampires on Gloth Andrew. I think they were all kept safely on Erde – to protect the rest of the universe!

  • 20/11/2011 at 7:41 pm
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    My co-host and i had the same discussion on my radio show on Friday night on http://www.blogtalkradio.com . Although it is apparent that most of the Vampire stories designed for youth fit into the “Twilight” mold, not all do.
    I lean towards a somewhat adaptive approach in that the Vampires of my world “Sonata” are classical in their ancestry and leanings, they must however live in the 21st Century, and keep the “formal” 19th Century behaviors for when they are appropriate.
    So I say keep the story, and if necessary self-publish, but never leave a story locked away in the heart of your creativity.

  • 20/11/2011 at 7:52 pm
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    Thank you for the encouragement Kenneth. I might revisit this story one more time and let the her loose! :)

  • 20/11/2011 at 8:27 pm
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    If you’d care to read an example of the ultra up-to-date *adult* vampire novel as a model to follow for your revisions, may I suggest Blood Run Cold by Alexandre Voinov and Raev Gray. BDSM erotica, which isn’t exactly my favorite genre, but I read it because I’m a fan of Voinov’s writing. It’s extremely well done and the two main characters, equally nasty types, are well-drawn. Try to imagine Gordon Gekko as a vampire. The plot is also nicely twisty. Extreme, yes, but also the perfect antidote to the sparkly trend. Oh, not to mislead–they’re gay. And decidly not gay stereotypes.

  • 25/11/2011 at 2:11 am
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    Derek, I say write the story you want to tell. If you want to write about ‘classic’ vampires, please do. I think the genre could use a blast from the past. I have said many times before that I prefer my vampires nasty and downright evil (30 days of night, baby!), not sparkly or too concerned about emotions. Don’t get me wrong, Dracula was a classic love story and a darn good one, but I think the genre has softened their black hearts a bit too much. Own your vamps and tell it like it is! Just my opinion, not trying to force it on you. :) Have a good one!

    • 25/11/2011 at 10:12 am
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      Thanks Gary. One thing is for sure, my vampire definitely doesn’t fit into the current romantic and glamourous genre. Although I’m very tempted to add a Barry Manilow reference or two to give the tale a romantic edge. lol

  • 25/11/2011 at 6:43 am
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    I think what you do would depend on which audience you’re wanting to interest. If it’s teenagers, maybe read something like The Morganville Vampire series (not quite as sappy as Twilight), and then make some revisions. If you’re aiming toward adults, I imagine you’ve hit your mark and should self-publish. Trust me, there are enough of us around whose daughters got us into vampires to read it. :)

    • 25/11/2011 at 10:16 am
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      Well Kristy, I think my audience has always been comprised of those on the very outer rim of sanity, so age is no barrier. But with this little vampiric tale I think I might have extended that outer rim of sanity to its extreme. .)

      • 25/11/2011 at 4:34 pm
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        In that case, I would say that you’ve chosen the largest audience of all. From what I can determine, most of society is flirting with that rim these days. :)

  • 30/11/2011 at 3:05 pm
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    Well I guess it’s time for a change… throw the typewriters and get a new computer. =)

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