As a child I recall being told that there were certain topics of conversation that were considered taboo at the dinner table. These were of course the classic threesome of sex, religion and politics. This advice still holds true for me when I sit down to scribble out my blog posts. In addition to the classic three, I would add other taboo topics such as bus accidents, racism, mass drownings, nuclear accidents, Catholic priest gags, English cooking tips, Justin Bieber and anything to do with understanding women.
There are of course other topics that require caution and I try to avoid any reference to relationship advice, sexually transmitted diseases, birth control and women’s hand bags. Then there are all the ‘isms to leave well alone as any opinion could be classed as inflammatory. So feminism, fascism, socialism and masochism all get a wide berth along with all weird fetishes and recipes using offal.
So taking all this into consideration I thought I would touch on a totally non-controversial topic as is my habit. Death. There are some wonderful things about death. Here’s my quick list of great things about death.
You will never have to go the dentist ever again.
Paying tax is a thing of the past.
You can stop paying rent or your mortgage.
Immediate end to worrying about money you owe friends.
Telemarketers will stop bothering you at dinner time.
You don’t have to cut your toenails.
Quitting smoking is a snap.
You’ll never have to worry about remembering family birthdays and buying useless gifts.
You don’t have to get up early on weekday mornings.
It is the only sure way of finding that elusive answer to the ultimate question.
Of course there are a few downsides to death, but I prefer to put a positive spin on things and keep a smile on my face. So until I get a chance to discover the answer to the ultimate question I suppose I will fill in the time by keeping my toenails neatly trimmed.
As I was getting to the end of your post, I wondered what you would allow yourself to have left to write about. Then when you reached the punchline it really cracked me up. I love your take on death. When I discuss it, people run for the hills but death happens and handling it with good humour is the healthiest route to take. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face on a topic most people veer away from.
Nice post! Great take on the benefits of death.
But isn't the answer to the ultimate question 42? :)
Oh yes Debbi. It's 42. But what is the question? lol
I think we all know god has a fairly twisted sense of humor. (Oh dear, that's one of those taboo subjects, isn't it?) My theory about the ultimate question is that at the pearly gates you will be informed you have to be alive in order to get the answer. Thus reincarnation was invented. Twisted, see what I mean? I am looking forward to this delightful list of things. I'm also assuming there will be pie.
Thanks for the fun post. Well, as fun as death can be, I suppose. I enjoyed it.
Fantastic and spot on. Thank you for making me chuckle and being intelligent while you did it!
Lately, I been too serious. Time for me to lighten up. Thanks for the fun read. BTW, the ultimate question is … aghh, cough, choke, spit, cough … swallowed a fly … have to go … will ask it later.