As a child I recall being told that there were certain topics of conversation that were considered taboo at the dinner table. These were of course the classic threesome of sex, religion and politics. This advice still holds true for me when I sit down to scribble out my blog posts. In addition to the classic three, I would add other taboo topics such as bus accidents, racism, mass drownings, nuclear accidents, Catholic priest gags, English cooking tips, Justin Bieber and anything to do with understanding women.
There are of course other topics that require caution and I try to avoid any reference to relationship advice, sexually transmitted diseases, birth control and women’s hand bags. Then there are all the ‘isms to leave well alone as any opinion could be classed as inflammatory. So feminism, fascism, socialism and masochism all get a wide berth along with all weird fetishes and recipes using offal.
So taking all this into consideration I thought I would touch on a totally non-controversial topic as is my habit. Death. There are some wonderful things about death. Here’s my quick list of great things about death.
You will never have to go the dentist ever again.
Paying tax is a thing of the past.
You can stop paying rent or your mortgage.
Immediate end to worrying about money you owe friends.
Telemarketers will stop bothering you at dinner time.
You don’t have to cut your toenails.
Quitting smoking is a snap.
You’ll never have to worry about remembering family birthdays and buying useless gifts.
You don’t have to get up early on weekday mornings.
It is the only sure way of finding that elusive answer to the ultimate question.
Of course there are a few downsides to death, but I prefer to put a positive spin on things and keep a smile on my face. So until I get a chance to discover the answer to the ultimate question I suppose I will fill in the time by keeping my toenails neatly trimmed.