In Honour of Stupid People

warnings for stupid people

Warnings for stupid people.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods for really stupid people, but from even dumber manufacturers.

On a Sears hairdryer — Do not use while sleeping.
(That’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos — You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.   Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap — “Directions: Use like regular soap.”
(and that would be???….)

On some Swanson frozen dinners — “Serving suggestion: Defrost.”
(but, it’s just a suggestion.)

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) — “Do not turn upside down.”
(well…duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding — “Product will be hot after heating.”
(…and you thought????…)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron — “Do not iron clothes on body.”
(but wouldn’t this save me time?)

On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine — “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.”
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid — “Warning: May cause drowsiness.”
(…I’m taking this because???….)

On most brands of Christmas lights — “For indoor or outdoor use only.”
(as opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor — “Not to be used for the other use.”
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury’s peanuts — “Warning: contains nuts.”
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts — “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.”
(Step 3: say what?)

On a child’s Superman costume — “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”
(I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw — “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.”
(Oh my Gosh …was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even chuckle)

6 thoughts on “In Honour of Stupid People”

  1. Hey, Derek: as someone with an extreme nut allergy who can happily eat peanuts (they are a legume, not a nut), I don't find that entry in your list above all that funny.

  2. LOL Derek. This is too funny! They are all a riot.
    Thank God you're here! I was just about to put on my super girl costume and jump out the window!
    Weather wise it's such a lovely day. I thought that I would have a nice little fly around the neighborhood.
    hmm You are supposed to eat the peanuts after you open them and you should not use your hair dryer while sleeping. Do not iron clothes while on body. I hadn't realized…
    Do you know what always confused me? It isn't funny. It is just confusing to me. Those tags on pillows that say, Do not remove under penalty of law. I'm afraid to cut them off even after I bring the pillows home. just sayin… What if someone were to find out! Yikes!

    Thank you for the smiles!

  3. If there was not one person who had sued someone because of the above, I would not have had a laugh today. Thanks for sharing, Derek!

  4. On most brands of Christmas lights — "For indoor or outdoor use only."
    (as opposed to what?)

    As opposed to internal use, I'm sure.

  5. Regarding the Japanese food processor:

    The manufacturer was probably scared out of his wits after watching the “Will it Blend” videos on YouTube.

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