Men know that the ability to cook is a sure fire winner when it comes to impressing women. What is less well known is that by taking the extra step and expanding your culinary expertise to the upper echelons of gastronomic greatness, you will enhance your prospects of successful seduction by a factor of almost ten.
So put away the recipe books guys and start perfecting your ability to improvise your compost cuisine.
How impressive is left over KFC Risotto? I saw this prepared once. What a masterpiece. Hard, almost two week old KFC chicken strips, chips and gravy regurgitated into a masterpiece of Fast Food/Italian cuisine. Chopped finely, soaked for a reasonable amount of time in caustic soda made the chicken tender and moist. The chopped chips adding a crouton touch. And the gravy! Thickening the risotto to a creamy finish.
Or Compost Soup. Take everything out of the bottom drawer of the refrigerator. (That’s the place where we all store good intent.) Inspect the vegetables and cut off all green mould, slimy sections and black marks bigger than your thumbnail. Rinse and chop. Optionally adding leftover bacon, cold meat or rancid salami (with the rancid bits cut off of course) brings a omnivore touch to your soup. Serve with small cheese chunks (again, in the other good intent part of the fridge) but make sure most of the green mould is cut away or at least hidden on the bottom of the chunks.
But what about the rest of the compost in the fridge? Easy. Take it all, dump it in a big casserole and stir rather well. Then add your leftover mash potato on top and call it Shepherds’ Pie.
So there you have it. Master these techniques, and your refrigerator will sparkle with space, fresh air and be mould free. Always a sign women look for in a man. A clean refrigerator!
And if your lucky, and you don’t poison her, your chances of seduction success are almost guaranteed!