Seduction Success With Compost Cooking

leftover foodMen know that the ability to cook is a surefire winner when it comes to impressing women. What is less well known is that by taking the extra step and expanding your culinary expertise to the upper echelons of gastronomic greatness, you will enhance your prospects of successful seduction by a factor of almost ten.

So put away the recipe books, guys, and start perfecting your ability to improvise your compost cuisine.

How impressive is left-over KFC Risotto? I saw this prepared once. What a masterpiece. Hard, almost two-week-old KFC chicken strips, chips, and gravy regurgitated into a masterpiece of Fast Food/Italian cuisine. Chopped finely and soaked for a reasonable amount of time in caustic soda, making the chicken tender and moist. The chopped chips added a crouton touch. And the gravy! Thickening the risotto to a creamy finish.

Or Compost Soup. Take everything out of the bottom drawer of the refrigerator. (That’s the place where we all store good intent.) Inspect the vegetables and cut off all green mould, slimy sections and black marks bigger than your thumbnail. Rinse and chop. Optionally adding leftover bacon, cold meat or rancid salami (with the rancid bits cut off, of course) brings an omnivore touch to your soup. Serve with small cheese chunks (again, in the other good intent part of the fridge), but make sure most of the green mould is cut away or at least hidden on the bottom of the chunks.

But what about the rest of the compost in the fridge? It’s easy. Take it all, dump it in a big casserole, and stir rather well. Then add your leftover mashed potato on top and call it Shepherd’s Pie.

So there you have it. Master these techniques, and your refrigerator will sparkle with space and fresh air and be mould-free—always a sign women look for in a man. A clean refrigerator!

And if you are lucky, and you don’t poison her, your chances of seduction success are almost guaranteed!

4 thoughts on “Seduction Success With Compost Cooking”

  1. Okay, it made me laugh, but it also made me think of what we feed the chickens–yet another way to keep the refrigerator clean, and they don't get food poisoning. Which is guaranteed to bring the "seduction rate" down to zero.

  2. Well mtngirl, that's one of the joys of living in Switzerland. We know where our chickens come from and what they were fed and how free range or bio they were. Nearly know their names. Ultimate in healthy and drug free food. Very important here.Same for fruit and vegetables. Very well labeled and you know exactly what you're eating.

  3. If you remove the obviously moldy parts, and cook everything to a high enough temperature, you can keep the food poisoning potential down to a safe level. Too many people today have been spoiled by an overabundance of perfect food, and have no idea how to use up those questionable leftovers. You've given us some great advice!

  4. Mizzez Melly Mel

    Hmmm…food for thought! P.S. Should I be expecting a Shepherd's Pie when you invite me over for dinner?

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