I’d like to tell you of the places I’ve been.
I’ve been to London to visit the Queen.
When I arrived she wasn’t home.
I think it’s because I forgot to phone.
I went to Memphis to see the King.
When I got there he wasn’t in.
Someone said the King was dead.
But I’m sure he was just asleep in his bed.
I flew to Berlin to see the wall,
But when I got there, there was nothing at all.
Just the Brandenburg Gates big and bold.
I’ll search again before I get old.
When I went to see the Pope.
My luck was out, I felt like a dope.
He was making saints in Croatia somewhere.
So I just got to see a big empty chair.
I’d like to tell you of the places I’ve seen.
And all of the people I’ve never seen.
It’s always the same wherever I go.
I should have been there a month ago.
Written by Derek Haines