Latest Articles from The Vandal AKA Derek Haines

Restless

Restless Restless is the wind, That blows in my mind, Never knowing from where, Or to. Unceasing indecision, Lost in foggy visions, Dreams that last the night, Morning fright. Stability in confusion, Breathing an illusion, A past haunting, A future daunting. The sound on the breeze, Humming with unease, Shivers in my gut, Pain in my heart. Lost in anger and remorse, Never set a course, Hope the fear subsides, I cannot find my stride. Am I the balloon? That escapes the child’s hand, Lost to the sky, Watch the child cry. Decisions seem so easy, Why is my stomach queasy? The doing is the fear, I am holding back

Amazon Reviews And Keyword Stacking

How to stack keywords on Amazon book reviews In a recent post about Amazon Reviews, I mentioned in one of my comments that I had come across what I believe is systematic keyword stacking in reviews posted by some major publishers. I was also convinced that the reviews posted for this particular book were systematic, highly orchestrated and were probably posted by members of the publisher’s staff, or perhaps by paid reviewers. I have quoted myself below to save you hunting the long list of comments that my earlier post on Amazon reviews received. If there is any doubt about major publishers using fake reviews (um, marketing?), then one book

Playing With Words

I feel like a pun! This lovely list of puns arrived in my inbox recently. I tried to find the original version, but it seems it has been posted many, many times. If the original author finds this post, I would very much like to add the source. 1. A bicycle can’t stand alone. It is two tired. (“tyred” in the UK and colonies) 2. A will is a dead giveaway. 3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a rotten apple. 4. A backward poet writes inverse. 5. A chicken crossing the road … poultry in motion. 6. If a clock is hungry, does it go back four

Mouths Cut Just Like Razor Blades

Tom Waits, the master of words. When it comes to wordsmiths, Tom Waits heads my list by a very long way. His ability to create images with often just a few immaculately chosen words always has me in awe of his brilliance. ‘With their mouths cut just like razor blades and their eyes are like stilettos‘, is one classic example of his mastery. This appears in the poem ‘Small Change’ and has, after more than thirty years since he recorded it with only saxophone accompaniment, remained one of my favourites. If you have never heard or read Small Change by Tom Waits, enjoy the following video and accompanying lyrics. If