Latest Articles from The Vandal AKA Derek Haines

Kindle Author in KDP Select or Indie Author?

A Kindle author enrolled in Amazon’s KDP Select is an unfair lottery. The Kindle author lottery being of course, the size of the monthly pool of money allocated by Amazon to Select Kindle authors, and which rules Amazon will decide to change or modify, AFTER an author has signed away their rights to sell their ebooks anywhere else other than Amazon, under Amazon’s KDP Select (KDPS) exclusivity clause. Sign here to grant Amazon total exclusivity and all will be wonderful. Yeah, sure. Six months ago, I decided to enrol all my ebooks in KDP Select once again. Having done this twice before over the last four years, I knew the ropes, drawbacks and pitfalls

The Clown

The Clown Everybody’s happy; I’m everybody’s clown, I always wear my smiling face, even when I’m feeling down. No one sees the tears I shed, every single day, “Make me smile; I’m feeling sad,” all the world does say. And so I make them laugh, and warm them from within, They all think they love the clown, but I let nobody in. My greasepaint smile, always there, for that is all they see, Everybody loves the clown, but no one will love me. It’s not because some haven’t tried, but they have tried in vain. I am so unsure that I can love, without causing pain. The gift of love

Show Me

My recent post about politicians had me searching my files for a verse I wrote some years ago. I had forgotten that my choice of vocabulary had been so graphic, so be warned before you go on to read this that it does contain some very course language. The image I have selected should also warn you that I have stripped my normal veneer of respectability and ventured into the uncouth. If you haven’t hit the ‘close window button’ by now, there is nothing more I can say that will deter you from reading on. Reading the verse again now only serves to remind me that nothing at all has

The Difference Between A Hedgehog And Porcupine?

After writing a very silly blog post last week, I have decided to lift my game and write about something serious. So today’s topic is going to be hedgehogs. Well, more than just hedgehogs. I want to add porcupines and echidnas and inform you all of the Earth-shattering news that they are in fact not the same animal. Not only aren’t they the same animal, they are in fact three very different species with some surprising news about echidnas in particular. Let’s start with the hedgehog which belongs to the order Insectivora, which surprisingly eats insects, while the porcupine belongs to the order Rodentia. So it’s a rat with rather