FearFear

The taste of reality in the land of dreams, opens my eyes to fear unseen.
The fear of change, of all that I know, to catch hold of a dream and never let go.
My time has come for my love to be sealed, I now must make haste to all that I feel.
But through my mind, my gut and my heart, there’s a fear of leaving, and a fear to start,
The journey to take far from my home,…… but staying will leave me all on my own.

I sit and I wait for an answer to come, a simple foretelling of days yet to come.
But no one responds to my limpid cry, there’s no one to ask, no future spy.
So fear’s all I have, to judge what is right, in an unseen future on a moonless night.
There’s promise of joy and love and life, laughter and music and cool moonlit nights.
But still my gut rolls with trepidation and fears, for what lies ahead in the unknown years.

The hurt and the pain of the past so clear, still haunts me now, and heightens my fear.
Is life played in stanzas of joy and then grief, followed by searching for instant relief?
Am I just grasping at comfort and care, seeking a balm for my selfish despair?
My fear is of me, and how I could be, a burden to someone who’s precious to me.
My mind is unclear, confusion runs free, with the one constant fear, the fear of me.

So to you my love I can say with my heart, I yearn for you now, I loathe being apart.
My want for your love is a constant desire, my life needs your spark to light a new fire.
To fill me with hope for a future unsure, and give me the strength to be self assured.
But all I can do is come to you side, complete with my fear, but let you decide,
If I am the one to make you life whole, and are we both matched in mind, body and soul.

Written by Derek Haines

Fear
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One thought on “Fear

  • 19/09/2011 at 12:49 pm
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    Derek,
    You expressed emotions and fears so well. Fears we all can relate to.

    “Is life played in stanzas of joy and then grief, followed by searching for instant relief?

    I have often felt, in time of great distress, that happiness prepared me for what I was dealing with, was a reward in a way, for having to experience loss, sorrow, etc. The sentence above is exactly how I see life sometimes, and that can be fearful. Because then it would cloud every moment, knowing that the next stanza in life would come.

    Better to just live life for what is happening right now I finally decided. And not taint it with fear of the future.

    Wonderful poetry!
    ~cath

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