Charles Brady King has a lot to answer for. For those who are unfamiliar with his name, his invention has surely aggravated you. He invented the damn Jackhammer. That incessant city noise that drives us all mad.
As I write, a bunch on manly brutes are doing what they do best. Digging holes in the road just below my balcony with a pair of extremely noisy jackhammers and really ruining my morning.
Also, have you noticed that these brutes rarely use a jackhammer in the afternoon. It seems to be a special morning thing with them.
Well, where are today’s inventors? Why can’t someone clever invent a quiet jackhammer? And while they’re at it, what about quiet velcro and quiet motorcycles. Lawnmower blades hardly make any noise when cutting grass.
It’s only the motor that makes the blades spin that echoes around six suburbs early on a Sunday morning. Why do lawnmowers have to be powered by noisy two-stoke engines? Why not a motor as quiet as the one in a ceiling fan?
As a race of beings, we have specialised in making noisy things to drive us mad on a daily basis when really we would all prefer a bit of peace and quiet.
My pet hate is the noisy blower thingie that gardeners insist on using to blow leaves from one place to another. And then sometimes, back to where the leaves where in the first place. A very noisy and completely useless device only designed to really pee me off. What was so wrong with a rake?
Now I can hear someone ten floors below me drilling a hole in a concrete wall, clearly with the wrong and very blunt drill bit. I do hope that the picture that finally hangs on their wall was worth waking the dead for an hour.
With all this noise around me this morning it is next to impossible to hear the sirens of the police, ambulance and fire service wailing away in the background.
Oh well. I’ll just have to use my usual solution. Jimi Hendrix at full volume. Ahhhh! Peace at last.