At last! A day free of any commitments. Free from doctor’s appointments, veterinary check ups, shopping, cleaning, teaching and errand running. Free of students, lesson plans and check out chicks. Free of driving, being somewhere and forever checking my iPhone calendar for the things I forgot I had forgotten. A free day.
So of course I chose to spend my wonderfully event free day, writing. But of course Sod’s Law took over immediately after breakfast.
Some call it writer’s block but I prefer to call it a total brain freeze and mental whiteout. Not a single idea worth wasting a verb upon. No satirically black idea worth a double negative. Not even a skerrick of a notion worthy of an introductory adverbial phrase. An odd eh and um discourse marker being the closest to a rational thought.
So I gave up and had more coffee thinking it would help. It didn’t. Walk the dog, more coffee, sit and ponder. Procrastinate about pondering. Ponder then about procrastination. Worry. Have I lost it completely? Did I have it in the first place?
Lunch time gave me some respite as I pushed the limits of spacial time and made it last until afternoon tea. Which then became my first rational thought for the day. Why is it called afternoon tea? I always drink coffee. I don’t like tea at all. So I renamed it afternoon coffee. At last something productive. Rolling this new phrase around in my head took me to dinner time and by then I was quite hungry after such a long day.
Oh. Being a writer is such a great life. As I sit now, late in the evening, with my umteenth glass of red wine and reflect on my day, I can be proud of my achievement. Two whole words.
Now I just need to find a place to use this brilliant new piece of collocated language.