At last! A day free of any commitments. Free from doctor’s appointments, veterinary check-ups, shopping, cleaning, teaching and errand running. Free of students, lesson plans and check out chicks. Free of driving, being somewhere and forever checking my iPhone calendar for the things I forgot I had forgotten. A free day.
So, of course, I chose to spend my wonderfully event-free day, writing. But of course, Sod’s Law took over immediately after breakfast.
Some call it writer’s block but I prefer to call it a total brain freeze and mental whiteout. Not a single idea worth wasting a verb upon. No satirically black idea worth a double negative. Not even a skerrick of a notion worthy of an introductory adverbial phrase. An odd eh and um discourse marker being the closest to a rational thought.
So I gave up and had more coffee thinking it would help. It didn’t. Walk the dog, more coffee, sit and ponder. Procrastinate about pondering. Ponder then about procrastination. Worry. Have I lost it completely? Did I have it in the first place?
Lunchtime gave me some respite as I pushed the limits of spacial time and made it last until afternoon tea. Which then became my first rational thought for the day. Why is it called afternoon tea? I always drink coffee. I don’t like tea at all. So I renamed it afternoon coffee. At last something productive. Rolling this new phrase around in my head took me to dinner time and by then I was quite hungry after such a long day.
Oh. Being a writer is such a great life. As I sit now, late in the evening, with my umteenth glass of red wine and reflect on my day, I can be proud of my achievement. Two whole words.
Now I just need to find a place to use this brilliant new piece of collocated language.