5 Things That Annoy Me (Part 4)

Annoys MeIt’s been a little while since I vented my spleen on some of my favourite annoyances. While my first post on this topic was intended to be a one off, I liked the idea so much that I just had to write a second. Even after two I felt unfulfilled, so along came a third annoying post. Then all of a sudden this morning, I felt an urge to write a fourth episode in my annoyances trilogy. Yes, I know it should be limited to three, but dear Douglas Adams got away with five parts to his trilogy of Hitchhiker books, so I reckon I still have one more up my sleeve. Anyway, let’s get on with this.

1. Twitter. I know this may sound hypocritical as I’m a Twitter power user, but in the last six months Twitter has really got on my wick. Perhaps the money men have given Twitter a kick up the bum or they have developed a new variety of nonsensical algorithm but Twitter is now a garbage dump full of spammers and annoying hackers. While Twitter rule abiding users have been having their accounts suspended for crimes such as unfollowing too many users (usually crappy spammers), the spammers flourish. It is so bad now that my direct message box is now useless as it is replete each day with hundreds of auto-spam messages making it impossible to find my real messages. Enough, I’m getting annoyed again.

2. Jam Jars. Why is it necessary to be Hercules to open a jar of jam (jelly for my US readers). I often think about widowed grandmothers all around the world, waiting with anticipation for a strong grandchild to visit so they can have some jam on their toast for breakfast. Until they arrive the poor dears can only look at the offending jar of marmalade sitting smugly on their kitchen counter.

3. Television Evening News. As this daily broadcast often coincides with dinner, why do news editors insist on screening mutilated dead bodies, graphic surgical procedures and sobbing victims of crime in the middle of my meal? Enough to turn me off my tomato soup.

4. Dust. This a relatively new annoyance for me as for most of my life I’ve been on the move so often I’ve never noticed this phenomenon. However, after now living in the same place for ten years, I just can’t believe how rapidly this stuff accumulates and how it manages to penetrate even the most securely closed cupboard or wardrobe. I’m starting to believe that dust is a living organism that can reproduce itself faster than rabbits.

5. Noses. Why is it that your nose only decides it needs scratching when you have both hands full of shopping bags? Nasal irritation must surely be connected in some way to the applied force of weight upon your arms. Atchoom!

17 thoughts on “5 Things That Annoy Me (Part 4)”

  1. Dust is indeed a scourge, because it contains dust MITES. The little buggers LOVE biting me, and I am allergic to them.

    I may need to check out your other peeves. We seem to have several in common.

  2. I’m with you totally on four out of the five Derek.

    All jars, not just those containing jam, meat products, tins of sardines – the list is endless.As for Television Evening News, it should carry a warning – “The following may completely put you off your dinner!”


  3. anna-rose phipps

    I love your funny writing it cheers me up and doesn’t annoy me at all.

    I’m sort of a Twitter virgin so have lol’s without quite knowing whether i’m walking into someone else’s mine-field or not. Haha! I hope I myself haven’t unwittingly become annoyng myself, since i’m a bit over-enthusiastic on the old RT button! I’ve had to unfollow some weird stuff already, this spooky poet whose verses were on some sort of repeat loop, some hardcore porn (is it my hashtag ‘Lopcute’ i wonder?) as well as spam. I’ve only got ~19 followers so far, and that’s already plenty! How do you cope, Derek, with so many fans?

    1. Glad you’re enjoying my scribbling Anna-Rose :) And how do I cope on Twitter? Easy. I just respond to nice people and smile a lot :)

  4. I’m with you on all 5 Derek.
    But unlike you, I am starving for my jam; too weak to open the jar (no grandchildren) and even if I could somehow get it open, I couldn’t eat it b/c I’m so grossed out by the nightly news, plus I’m sneezing all the time, and can’t tear myself away from twitter. Other than that… no complaints. : )))

  5. Well Louise, as my grand kids are in Australia, I also have no one to open my jars. But a good tip! When you buy it from the supermarket, ask the check out chick nicely and she’ll usually gladly do it for you. Or she’ll find a likely lad!

  6. As I get on in years, I think I will start keeping a cutlass in the kitchen so I can knock the tops of jars. Not only is this an elegant solution (I have no grandchildren yet) but I feel it adds a fine piratical flair to my afternoon snack.

  7. This blog humor comes at just the right time Derek . . . I am staring at the dust accumulating on my jar of relish sitting on my counter!

      1. Oh yes it sure is. It may be for quite a while as my grandson is only 5 weeks old!!!

  8. Kathleen Crossley

    Good morning Derek! If it were not for twitter, I would not have had the opportunity to meet such a multi-talented man such as yourself. I thoroughly enjoyed all of your books, and I enjoy your CD’s as well. : ) You’re really good at wine drinking too! Although, the glass is sometimes half empty.
    What was it that you do not excel in ? Oh, dancing, spelling, and your not particularly fond of gardening.
    Oh my goodness! Have you ever seen a magnified picture of a dust mite? Ewww
    Ditto on the six o’clock news.
    Now about that jar thingy: First of all, it’s preserves, jam, jelly and marmalade in the USA. I don’t care for marmalade, but cherry preserves rock! And you are so right. My grandmother had a special circular, rubber, gripper gadget to aid in jar opening. I prefer to stick a teaspoon under the edge of the lid, it pops it right open! A “real” man should be able to open a jar though, don’t ya think ? lol

    Perhaps you should trim the hair in your nose. Fortunately I do not have that problem. :D

    Never stop writing your always enjoyable, entertaining and enlightening blog.

    Your friend and fan,

  9. Kathleen Crossley

    Lol Derek! I didn’t think that you were braiding the hair in your nose. Or is is Hairs? hmm
    Well, anyway, I know that it’s allergy season, or rabbit season or duck season. It’s always some season. : )
    And I’m a wise guy!

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