backacheI thought I might do something civic in my blog today. While gazing out of my window, watching the snow fall gently and consistently, adding further anxiety to people’s holiday plans and their drive home from work this evening, I had a sudden thought.

I’m really getting on!

Now this may have seemed like a very silly thought to have, given the stimulus of the picturesque beauty of my view beautiful Swiss winter wonderland, but it did. Because it reminded me that I have become blasé about my new home. This will be my tenth Christmas here after having spent forty something swelteringly hot Australian Christmases prior to that. I’ll now leave the arithmetic to you.

The civic duty I want to perform then, is to give some insight to those of you who have experienced less than forty Christmases so far. A small insight into what you can expect at Christmastime in a few short years.

My day started well today. Planned to do a little shopping. Left early, found a wonderfully convenient parking spot and then on getting out of the car realised I had forgotten my wallet. Not even a single coin in my pocket or car. So, back home. Get my wallet. Return to find the car park now filling to capacity. Drive around in circles. Finally find a very inconvenient parking spot. Not enough room to open my car door. Quick jump across the passenger’s side and exit there, pulling a muscle in my back at the same time.

Walked painfully to the supermarket. Pain was too much, so stopped for a coffee and a rest. New no smoking laws just came into force. Have a choice to smoke and freeze on the terrace, or stay inside. I stay inside and fume.

Finally the pain in my back eased. Started the shopping. Grizzled profusely at the long queue at the check out and the clients who had either forgotten something, or wanted to put something back. Or forgot to weigh their fruit and vegetables. Finally get to my turn, and I had forgotten to weigh my fruit and vegetables. Hear remarks behind me about some silly old bastard.

Try to pay my parking ticket. Where the hell is the ticket. Damn. Left it in the car. Another walk to the inconvenient parking spot. Reach across from the passenger’s side door to grab the ticket above the steering wheel. Damn, pulled that same muscle. Back to the machine.

Really need to find a toilet. Damn, old age. I only went before I left. The first time that was though.

Get the shopping in the car. Climb in the passenger’s door and shimmy to the drivers side over the centre console again. Pulled a muscle in my arm this time. Painful drive home. Arrive home.

Run to the toilet in agony.

Ahhhhh. Ecstasy!

Unpack shopping. Damn. I forgot to buy cigarettes. That was why I went in the first place. Damn. But at least I have a new 50% off today only fry pan I didn’t plan on buying. And, damn, milk was the other thing I needed.

Take some pain killers for my arm and back. Have no cigarettes now. Angry.

I have a doctor’s appointment. In half an hour! I forgot about that. Good old iPhone to the rescue. Stop at corner store on the walk to my doctor. They don’t have my brand of cigarettes. Buy any old brand and will probably choke. Slip on the icy pavement and pull a muscle in my left leg.

Arrive home crippled and broke from having to buy so much medicine from the pharmacy.

It’s late. Need a coffee.

Damn, forgot the milk!


Derek’s Vandal Blog
www.derekhaines.ch
Derek on Twitter
Derek’s Author Page

Your Time Will Come
Tagged on:             

One thought on “Your Time Will Come

  • 22/12/2009 at 1:45 pm
    Permalink

    Seems to me like you could do well with a regime that exercises not only your body, but also the brain… speaking as one who has been there, seen it and got the t-shirt.

    For me, self taught Yoga was the answer – and 7 years later I'm still at it (and the Yoga) ;)

    @kaphoen

Comments are closed.