- While our farmers’ crops died in drought, our rivers dried up, our cities flooded and my beautiful view of the Alps in December is marred by them having no snow on them at all, our political leaders decided that 2011 was the year to completely ignore global warming. It seems that they were much more concerned with making money out Greek government bonds than saving the lives of my great-grandchildren.
- As a species of monkey descendants we proved once again how easily fooled we really are by electing only donkeys and dodos to a multitude of political offices. 2011 certainly wasn’t the year that we decided to ‘get smart’ and start electing intelligent human beings.
- While 2009 and 2010 saw the collapse and financial ruin of individuals, families, companies, banks and corporations, it wasn’t until 2011 that our politicians decided to start sending sovereign countries broke as well. There’s only the whole planet left to send broke. Can they achieve this lofty goal in 2012?
- While 2011 saw a lot of killing, maiming and generally violent and bloody acts that we have all become totally immune to as we watch them on the TV news while eating our evening meal, it was very noticeable that the US for some reason, just forgot to invade a country this year.
- Roger Federer didn’t win a single Grand Slam.
- Disappointingly, I didn’t manage to sell one million copies of any of my books this year. However, the fact that a Vandal reader with a keen eye spotted someone reading one of my books in India on a Delhi Metro did lift my spirits.
- 2011 didn’t see the end of the world. A disappointment to the many doomsdayers I know, but hey, there’s always next year.
- Abject poverty and famine of course failed once again to get a passing thought in 2011. Of course this is easy to understand because our politicians were far too busy saving Greek government bonds and arguing about the US deficit to worry at all about saving the lives of millions of innocent children.
- On a positive note to finish, we didn’t get invaded by aliens. Pity really, because they would probably do a better job at managing this insane planet.
What Didn’t Happen In 2011