I have decided to designate today as the official ‘World Day of Abject Laziness’. As there seems to be world days for almost everything else, I cannot think of one good reason why we should not celebrate this most wonderful of simple pleasures.
It should not be left to the already over burdened Sunday to carry the load all by itself. No, we need to unite in laziness and ensure that the whole world knows about its noble and glorious traditions so they can be passed on to new generations. Laziness is our only true defence against the oligarchy and the ruling elite who profit from exploiting us 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. And every four years they exploit us for an extra day yielding a healthy bonus of 0.31%. Oh yes, they can count.
So rise up and lay down against oppression. Say no to the alarm clock, the train, bus or car. Say no to the boss for a day. Say no to the world and snuggle under the quilt for as long as you want. Reduce the elite’s return by a day full by doing absolutely nothing at all.
Keep your pyjamas on all through the day and fall asleep in front of a television soapie. Drink milk straight from the container so you don’t have to use any energy in washing a glass. I know you can do it.
So get going. Stop now. Start immediately and save the world!