Before you read any further, be warned that this is about a once in a life time, or two event. I know that sounds dramatic, but it is dramatic, traumatic and involves antiseptic.
I had a long arranged appointment today with my dermatologist today. On my last visit in October, he had noticed three suspicious looking little brown spots that he insisted needed surgically removing. Not that it matters to you, but they were on my inner forearm, thigh and neck. Yes, nice tender zones for his scalpel. However this is not the topic of this tale. During my visit in October, I had pleaded with him on my wife’s behalf for an appointment for her. His receptionist had told me he was totally booked out and was not taking any new patients.
When I discussed this with him, he confirmed that indeed he was not taking any new patients. Full stop. Sorry, but no. Until we drifted onto the topic of music as one does in a doctor’s surgery. To cut this story short, he agreed to take my wife for an appointment in January 2010, if I supplied him with one of my CDs. Well, deal done!
So today was the day for my dreaded surgery. As promised, I arrived with a copy of one of my CDs. It was acoustic blues by the way. His nurse escorted me into his surgery and duly asked me to undress and prepare to be cut wide open. As I took off my coat, I took out the CD and left it on a bench close to my doctor’s surgical instruments of impending pain and suffering. A lot like my music in fact.
So there I am, lying in a very close to naked state on his operating table. He walks in, smiles, says hello, and I pointed to my CD that I had delivered as promised in exchange for my wife’s impossible to get appointment. He immediately grabbed the CD, checked the liner notes and track listing and promptly replaced the classical CD that was playing with my own CD. “Oh great, I love blues.” he said.
Now I ask you to imagine being cut open to the sound of your own voice that is destroying the pentatonic scale. My doctor had administered the local anesthetic to three separate areas of my body, but unfortunately he didn’t include my ears. After cutting, removing and stitching the first two suspicious looking brown nodes, it was time for a pause while I was turned over and prepared for a little cutting on the back of my neck.
Ten minutes later, the doctor returned after his nurse had prepared me for the last slice of the day. He passed me and went straight to the CD player and checked the track listing again. You know, I have never operated on a patient while listening to his music. Now, the challenge is to see if I can finish with you before your CD finishes. I’m sure I will.?” he said with great confidence.
I was just hoping there were a few songs left so he didn’t have to rush.