Getting On Sucks

Old Age Sucks

As one who is entering the so called ‘Autumn Years’, I have to tell you that it really is a pain. To be precise, it’s a pain everywhere. Legs, back, joints and probably reflected equally in my painfully grumpy attitude at times. My agenda is starting to fill with far too regular appointments with doctors, and far too few long drunken lunches complete with ribald conversation. The other painful part of the ageing process is the all too frequent ………… now what was I going to say here? Oh yes. The far too frequent lapses of short term memory and inability to concentrate on two things at the same time. Even

A Remarkable Change

Derek Haines

To many of my readers I am sure that I have given you the impression that I am a lazy, good for nothing old writer of nonsense who slumbers away most of his day on his old rickety sofa. Then finishes the spectacular lack of any physical activity during the day by drinking beer and wine every evening until standing up is an impossibility. Well in fact a lot of this is perfectly true. I have never been one for putting too many miles on a car as I believe it will last longer. Also in the same vein, a little regular lubrication will certainly give better performance in the

Puff, Pant, Gasp, Wheeze, Sweat, Pain.


The time came today to get my backside off my squeaky old sofa and venture out after my long beer drinking and cheese eating winter hibernation. There was some motivation for me as the sun was shining, the birds were singing and the lake side cafés are open again. Another prime reason for venturing to the vertical position and actually moving was that all my jeans have shrunk over winter, and I am too miserable to buy new ones. But the thought of expending all that energy had me quite concerned before I set off. As a back up plan, I did have enough money to give up and catch

The X Files: The Smoking Man (President)

I couldn’t believe my luck when I read this story about Barack Obama. Fancy having the most powerful man in the world on my side for a change. Alas I am not an American so I really will not have the opportunity to lobby him to bring smoking back to restaurants and bars, but it still gives me optimism that the world has not yet been totally purified and sanitised. The other point that came to mind when I read the article was that I now understood (but only a little) the debate about health care reforms in the US. I must admit, being from Europe, it had not made