raw sausagesOf all the exciting things that could happen to me as a child, the absolute pinnacle was accompanying my Mum to the butcher. These were my first adventures with what I know today as fast food, or take away. As with today’s fast food and take away, this delicacy was prepared in a flash, ready to eat, convenient to eat while walking and a real taste sensation. Similar also was its high fat content and almost zero nutritional value.

It was of course, a raw beef sausage! I just loved them. The butcher in his blue and white striped apron would lean over the counter to me and say, “Sausage little fella?” and my saliva glands would explode with anticipation. Sucking the sausage meat out of the intestinal outer skin was an oral sensation. The layer of cold congealing animal fat that was left on my tongue was something that would last for hours. When all the meat was sucked out, I would chew on the gristly outer skin until we arrived home and my Mum told me to spit it out.

I have wondered why this did not catch on as a take away sensation. My highly attuned taste buds tell me that there is a great similarity between my childhood cold sausage and any available modern take away or fast food. As with any marketing, I suppose it is all in the packaging of the product. Multicoloured cardboard will probably always win over natural coloured, stretched pig’s intestine.

I like fat people. They smile. And for some reason, a higher percentage of fat people are great dancers. More than likely they share my passion for food. Especially cream! 


I don’t like to hear people, built like stick insects, constantly complaining that they are fat and need to lose weight.
I like people who are happy with imperfection.
I don’t like the company of pedantic perfectionists.
I am not so keen on raw sausages any more.

An excerpt from An Uneducated View of Sex, Food and Politics.
by Derek Haines
ISBN-10: 1449509347


Derek’s Vandal Blog
www.derekhaines.ch
Derek on Twitter
Derek’s Author Page

Raw Sausages
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3 thoughts on “Raw Sausages

  • 15/01/2010 at 12:54 am
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    Wow… I had never imagine that I would be able to talk to the real author. :D thanks

  • 16/01/2010 at 3:18 am
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    "I have wondered why this did not catch on as a take away sensation."

    In a word, gastroenteritis.

    ;-)

  • 16/01/2010 at 10:30 am
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    I remember being very hungry as a child and snatching a cooling pork sausage off the counter. What I didn't realise was that it was only part cooked. This caused much anxiety amongst the adults for days as they waited for me to 'go blind'. I was fine.

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