I just adore negative headlines. They are so easy to conjure up and then it’s a breeze to write an article. Stumbling across this so called new article recently titled, 10 Things Steve Jobs Won’t Announce at Apple’s WWDC, I was astonished to notice that the first paragraph rejoiced in giving this article a sub-title of ‘News Analysis’.
Well, if this is indeed news analysis, I think I might get into some in-depth news analysis myself.
Why don’t I start with a few incisive and believable news analysis type headlines and see how far I can get before being sued for libel.
‘Madonna Did Not Have A Sex Change’
‘5 Things That Won’t Happen This Year’
‘Obama Was Not Born In Alaska’
‘There Was No Earthquake In New York Yesterday’
‘John F. Kennedy Was Not A Cuban Exile’
‘Steve Jobs Will Not Get A Seat On Google Board’
‘10 Reasons Why Russia Will Not Invade Papua New Guinea’
‘Elvis Is Not Living In Turkey’
My list of negatively formed headlines is positively endless. I could have so much fun ranting on for hours about things that never happened or will never happen or are so blatantly untrue it is a cinch to prove that they are untrue and sound credible while I’m at it.
‘Derek Haines Confirms He Is Not Filthy Rich’
I don’t want to say anymore.