The Noose TieA very long time ago, shortly after the dinosaurs met their maker in fact, I made a momentous life decision. One that would shape me for the rest of my life. A decision that would come to define my personality and attitude to the world and the people who ventured into my existence. ‘Why should I do something just because everyone else is doing it? Conform? No way José!’

Not since that day all those eons ago, has my neck been strangled by a bloody tie. Not even at the occasional wedding or funeral. Not even at the more occasional job interview. Not even one single bow tie. The day I threw away all my ties, which I viewed as a symbol of servitude, was the day I felt true freedom. No longer suffering the feeling of having a noose around my neck.

It’s worth remembering that ties only became a necessity when collars became the fashion. The tie was used to hold the collar in place as it was not actually attached to your shirt. So as we now have shirts with attached collars, why on earth do we still think ties are even anywhere near necessary?

This is not to say that I I don’t dress well though. Well, in my opinion anyway. What’s so wrong with old comfortable Levi’s and even older concert memento T-shirts. It makes me feel like a walking history lesson with ‘KC and the Sunshine Band 1977 World Tour’ emblazoned on my chest for all the world to see. Or ‘CCR 1969’ telling everyone that I really have been around and am worthy of a bit of respect. Now I’d really look silly wearing a tie with this, wouldn’t I?

For those extra special occasions, such as funerals, I do possess one or two shirts with the aforementioned attached collars. Mind you, they are heavily in the John Fogerty ‘look’ being all in a nice cowboy checked patterned. The Levi’s though are non-negotiable.

So to hell with what society expects. There will be no noose for me under any circumstances. Should I happen to be unlucky enough in the future to be groomed by an undertaker who thinks he’ll dress me in a tie for all eternity, I promise I will rise from the dead and hang him from the nearest tree bough. By his grey silk tie of course.

No Noose Is Good Noose
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5 thoughts on “No Noose Is Good Noose

  • 22/11/2011 at 6:07 pm

    I chuckled at this post. This is such a generational thing. I see the younger men in love with ties. It’s a fashion statement, a way they can express their style. My 20 year old son and many of his friends too would rather buy ties or get them as gifts than just about anything else. All my sons are like this, but I remember when it was much different. It’s like women my age who used to refuse to cook or clean as a form of statement, but young women whether they work or stay home with the children take pride in fixing up their homes and preparing delicious meals. Funny how things change.

    • 22/11/2011 at 8:29 pm

      There is some irony here Karen. I may have discarded the noose, but I am now fixing up our home and preparing delicious meals. Have I turned into a young modern woman? lol :)

  • 22/11/2011 at 8:55 pm

    I view ties in the same family as military uniforms. When I de-mobbed in the late sixties, I told myself NO MORE UNIFORMS!

    Ever since then I have worn T-shirts and jeans. If that means I don’t get invited anywhere – no problems.

    Ties, suits, leather soled black shoes – YUK!


  • 23/11/2011 at 12:54 pm

    You have greatly protested here Derek, I feel you!

    Society has so many expectations that when you go against either of them you are branded as a rule breaker, yet we can’t all be the same. I reminded of Kristen Stewart the girl from twilight, she wears sneakers to the red carpet over a couture dress, now that’s something don’t you think?

  • 24/11/2011 at 7:15 am

    A tie is not as uncomfortable as high heels. Both send the message that one is serious. Clip on?

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