It’s always a good idea to change years just after Christmas because really, by then you’re totally fed up with it all that has happened and more than ready to start again with a clean slate. So as we plod off into 2012, grimacing from the disappointments of 2011, the year that wasn’t, what can we expect?
- By all accounts, our amateur astrologe…. eh, I mean economists, are saying, ‘You ain’t seen nothing yet!’ By this I gather that the financial gloom and doom we have suffered through 2011 was just an appetiser for what is to come. I just adored the clever use of vocabulary by one financial soothsayer. ‘Global Economic Meltdown.’ Well, that’s certainly an improvement over another Nuclear Plant Meltdown now isn’t it?
- On the publishing front, Amazon will succeed in totally monopolising the book publishing industry by early March. The Big Six will fall by the wayside as The Big One takes over by lending books for free to every man, woman and child on the planet. Well, so long as each of these men, women and children have bought a Kindle that is.
- Being an election year in the US, President Obama will announce a new dreaded enemy that probably needs invading urgently before summer. He needs to ensure that he maintains his political credentials by using the politics of fear in time to have a positive effect on the electorate. Possible dreaded enemies that need invading have been rumoured to include Tasmania, The Cayman Islands and Christmas Island. In fact, most small island states with no possible means of defence are under consideration. After all, it worked for Maggie Thatcher!
- The major Western democracies will start withdrawing their support for the Arab uprising and its success in installing democratically elected governments to replace all the dictators ,when rather surprisingly, these new democratic Muslim Arabs start electing Muslim Arabs into office. ‘This is just not what we expect after all our support,’ a rather shocked Whitehouse spokesman said. Off the record of course. No one at Number 10 wanted to be quoted, but it is quite well known that the PM is not happy at all with the result.
- In Formula One, new rules for the 2012 season will include a ‘no overtaking’ while going very fast rule. ‘Our prime concern is safety,’ a spokesman said in defence of the new rule. When asked if it would lessen the excitement of Formula One racing, he did point out that the overtaking of stationary vehicles was still permissible under the new rules so long as the overtaking driver slowed down to less that 10 miles per hour. Rumours that new rules under consideration included replacing the drivers with robots were confirmed by the spokesman, but he emphasised that a final decision had not been made. Yet.