The Vandal – Derek Haines

Men know that the ability to cook is a sure fire winner when it comes to impressing women. What is less well known is that by taking the extra step and expanding your culinary expertise to the upper echelons of gastronomic greatness, you will enhance your prospects of successful seduction by a factor of almost ten. So put away the recipe books guys and start perfecting your ability to improvise your compost cuisine. How impressive is left over KFC Risotto? I saw this prepared once. What a masterpiece. Hard, almost two week old KFC chicken strips, chips and gravy regurgitated into a masterpiece of Fast Food/Italian cuisine. Chopped finely, soaked

The older one gets, the wiser one gets, as the saying goes. Well, this may be true for some, but personally I go by the motto that as every day goes by, one million of my brain cells go missing. I have a theory that they are escaping through my ears, but I haven’t been able to prove this as yet. The other theory I have is that my most enjoyable but probably unhealthy lifestyle in my younger days may have taken its toll. It’s is easy with hindsight to know that I did some terrible things to my brain and body during those years, but I reacted as quickly