There have been some great entries so far for the Idiot Competition. Here is a small selection of some of the highly intellectual self-appraisals I have received for your reading pleasure. As you will surely appreciate, this is going to be a judge’s nightmare to find the sought after  third placed winner. Don’t forget to get your entries in before January 15th to be eligible for the highly prized  and very cheap prizes on offer. Oh, and by the way I’m still practicing my running writing every day so I can sign the books for the winners! Eisley I consider myself an idiot because I enter contests just to see my name in print… Wait. No, I don’t. Ummm, is this a trick question because I so totally don’t appreciate tricks. I never win anything, so really I am an idiot for even trying. How long do I have to ramble for? 500 Words. Yikes. Well, uh… do ellipses count in the word count? I hope so because I am such an idiot that I can’t think of anything better to say. Does this entry even count? Probably not. Oh well. I will be happy with a “Done good Babe.” Though, I am sooo not a pig. And please don’t call me Babe. Hmmm, what was the question? Ruth I’ve always been, shall we say, directionally challenged. And I’m terrible at noticing details about cars. I guess because I really don’t care about them that much. As long as mine gets me where I need to go, I’m good. A couple of years ago, I met my brother at his dental office so we could go have lunch. We drove separately so he could go right back to work afterward. He took off from his parking lot at 82 miles an hour. This is normal for him. I, on the other hand, went just over the limit at 45. I knew the restaurant where we were meeting, so I wasn’t really concerned. I should have been. I saw an SUV the same color as his a few cars ahead of me at the light. I followed. When it turned into a video store, I was confused. But, I thought, maybe he needed a quick action movie fix. I was still questioning whether it might not be him when I saw the partly-balding brunette head in the driver’s seat. Yep. That was him. But as I pulled up beside him, the man who got out of his vehicle was definitely not my big brother. Oh-oh. What should I do? He’d obviously seen me. Didn’t want him to think I was some nut who just followed people for no reason. Best to fess up. I rolled down my window.  “Sorry, thought you were someone else.”  He walked over to my car with a frown on his face. “Oh. Well, when I saw a young woman following me, I thought maybe I’d gotten lucky.”  My face turned seven shades of red as I smiled, apologized again and drove to the restaurant. As I pulled up beside my real brother and his real SUV, he was standing beside it with his arms crossed.  “Got lost again, didn’t you?”  I nodded. I was too embarrassed to tell him what really happened. But I guess if he’s ever on Twitter, he’ll know. Have a laugh on me, big brother. It wouldn’t be the first. Billy I’m the kind of guy that chased the car and ran head long into a pole, not looking where he’s going and ran into a fat ladies ass, got suspended on my birthday, unfortunate or an idiot, you tell me. Cheryl I am God’s Wife and I am a Fool, need I say more?  What great entries from fellow Idiots who are definitely nobody’s fool. I’ll keep you posted. Derek’s Vandal Blog www.derekhaines.chDerek on TwitterDerek’s Author Page

Idiot Competition Update
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