Destroy EarthIn my last two books, HAL and February The Fifth, I’ve been toying with the absolute silliness of our human existence. Little tribes separated by thin red lines on a map and all getting seriously upset in our little patches of Earth because those guys on the other side of the thin red lines worship a different God or speak a language we don’t understand. Even more upset if they are a different colour and eat different food. Perhaps they wear silly hats that we don’t like. One way or another, we in our little tribes of human existence specialise in disliking each other with immense and warlike passion. Kill first, ask questions later.

From the days of Adam and Eve, (metaphorically) we have been been finding ways to really piss each other off. And worse, finding novel ways to kill each other. Usually with god in one hand and a weapon in the other. So little has changed in human existence that as I start to write the third book in this series, I am seriously considering sending one lethally ugly death star and blowing up the whole damn planet.

Not that this is a new idea as many authors have reached the same logical conclusion that the Earth really needs destroying and starting all over again with a clean slate. My favourite, yet unfortunately dead author, sent a Vogon destroyer in the shape of a brick to do the job. He did do it nicely though by adding a little poetry to the proceedings. Awful poetry and likely to kill you, but poetry all the same. I could hope to be so kind.

However, as I sit down to write the final episode I am struggling to find a suitable and similarly nice tool of instant destruction. Death stars and intergalactic destroyers have been done to death. Instead I’m thinking of making it a more self propelled destruction. You know, let’s all sit back and watch as these idiots go about destroying themselves.

‘Oh look! Poof! There goes another little country and 17 million monkey descendants! Hey, you’re not leaving already? Stay around a bit longer and have another drink. Just until another 100 million get wiped out.’
‘Ok. Just one more drink, a few more million, then I really have to get going. My wife’s expecting me home for dinner.’

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6 thoughts on “I Think I Might Destroy The World

  • 25/09/2011 at 3:41 pm
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    I just noticed, the guy on your blog header looks like Gunter Grass!! Cool! :)

  • 25/09/2011 at 4:17 pm
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    I’ve also wondered the same thing, but would the world be any better if it was started over? Wouldn’t it just end up going down the same self-destructive path in the end?

  • 25/09/2011 at 4:22 pm
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    Heh. It’s funny how writer’s minds work Derek.

    In my current WIP – an anthology of thirty tales with the working title “Goblin Tales For Adults”, the world my five main characters live in is protected from the world of humanity behind a magical barrier.

    This beautiful planet only has one toxic species, it’s us.

    PS I’ve finally figured out (by mistake, I might add) how to create a link on my blog to my book and any further ones published in the future. Check it out mate, you’ll see it on the right hand side.

    Cheers,

    Jack

  • 25/09/2011 at 8:38 pm
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    All the other species, given the right level of intelligence, would be just as destructive as human beings.

  • 26/09/2011 at 9:10 am
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    Ha ha Derek, nice one. I think there are a lot of scientific based tropes you can use – a variation on the next mass extiction event for example? Some tropes have been done to death though, like comet impact and lethal virus, but it could good to come up with a new angle on one of those. Good luck!

  • 26/09/2011 at 6:52 pm
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    I hope you didn’t seriously mean that the earth should be destroyed. Why punish all other species for our stupidity. But a plague that kills every human being? Yeah, I could go with that. All it would really do is speed up a process that we’re dragging out unnecessarily.

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