life and deathMy blog entry, I Don’t Wanna Die Your Way, caused some people to comment on my hostile ravings about my attitudes towards my health. I have received some via Twitter and other sites where my blog is syndicated. However, I have received one particularly long comment, giving me very particular advice. I would like to share Serendipity Jane’s thoughts with you. And of course, my response.

Dear Derek, Health is a choice! Your doctors do not tell you this: You’re paying their life-insurance, vacation, big cars, villas, swimming pools, retirement. What have they  done for you, lately? No, no, no, don’t dare changing their pension plans! They count on your money! Fuel their enthusiasm! Add a few aches and pains! In your life time, who can make a real difference for YOU? Everything you choose is entirely up to what “free” will is dictating you to do. Yes, free will (or what you perceive it to be) is a dictator!

You’re only its loyal servant!! If you believe in the illusion of freedom, believe also in the counter-truth of imprisonment to limiting beliefs. So many frogs will happily boil in their own pond water and die because they do not want to change; although they KNOW the risks they are taking and the definite consequences their often deadly choices bring. When they are as young as you are, they still think they can defy gravity, reverse time. Although they choose all these things based on what they have believed to be their “own” choices, they know also that their subconscious mind is driving them with what they were conditioned to believe; and it’s driving them insane. So, what is free will? If health advice does not make you happy, we seriously need to talk, Derek! You Derek, YOU ARE the most selfish man in the world if you do not choose health!

All these people who love you want you around in good health as long as possible, so don’t spoil it for them, DO YOUR PART! Life is what you make of it! But again, who am I to pull your ears and say “Be healthy!” when you indeed really just want to be hanged, drawn and quartered. Not sure I can help you with that objective and equally I’m not certain as to the influence you have on your connections to the distributor of after-life. Let’s think positive, will we! Perhaps your dream will come true and you’ll come back as a monkey…  long live the banana fetish! I’m a true believer that life is best lived alive. It’s not too late to change, Derek!

Serendipitously, Serendipity Jane (Hope this was acerbic enough for your taste ;-))

Dear Serendipity Jane, Firstly, with regards to acerbic, I really think a little more effort could have been made to personalise your attack on me. I really think you held back. I agree wholeheartedly that I am the most selfish man in the world. That’s because I am a man. This is what men do. Especially with regards to health. We all hide behind our bravado as protection against anything to do with health. Especially doctors, syringes, pain and concepts of mortality. Now I’m not a masochist, so being hanged, drawn and quartered is not on my list of fun things to do this weekend, but I do want to live my life doing what I want to do. And that will certainly not include un-fun things like running 5 miles a day, drinking vegetable juice or eating lentils.

No, I’m going to have laziness, beer and sausages. Because these make me happy. I sense that my living a long time is a goal. As my dental hygienist always says, “I want you the have perfect teeth when you’re ninety.” My response is always the same. “My teeth will need to come and see you by themselves. Because I’ll probably be long dead by then!” I totally agree that life should be lived alive. But only while it’s enjoyable. So it would seem that your request for me to change will fall on my selectively deaf male ears. But it is nice to know someone cares. By the way. Did you know that if you kiss a frog, you have an outside chance of creating a prince? Especially one boiling in his own pond I would reckon.

Idiotically, Derek

I Don’t Wanna Die Your Way (Revisited)
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3 thoughts on “I Don’t Wanna Die Your Way (Revisited)

  • 27/12/2009 at 5:10 am
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    It's not just men, Derek. My sister hates doctors, too. And I agree that suffering for good health sucks a rat's ass. I don't intend to live on rice cakes, lentils or any other tasteless crap.

    Or, to put in the immortal words of Woody Allen, "You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred."

  • 27/12/2009 at 7:54 pm
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    I LIKE lentils. But in all other respects, I agree – and I'm a woman. I gave up smoking, three years ago, because it no longer brought me all that much pleasure and I didn't like the way my clothes smelled. Not because it was "bad for me" according to someone else. I want to slide into 90 healthy enough to enjoy it (the women in my family tend to live that long, so it's a very real possibility). But if being healthy involves giving up all that makes life worth living (for ME, not for someone else), forget it.

  • 02/01/2010 at 1:07 am
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    I love beer and sausages too. May you live as long as you want to live….

    Excellent post by the Idiot :)

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