pyjamasWith the exponential increase in Social Networking and Social Media there had to be a few stars rise to the top of the pile. Now being in the enviable position of being one of these chosen elite, I’ve decided that it is about time we got serious about all this stuff and started enforcing a dress code for the virtually social glitterati. With the advent of Google+ video hangouts and the natural progression soon of other social networking sites to incorporate video, you will just have to look your best.

Now pay strict attention here because if you have more than 5,000 followers, you really don’t want to embarrass yourself by being incorrectly attired when you make your star appearances on Facebook, Twitter or Google+.

There is no doubt at all that sloppy track suits and old pyjamas top the list when it comes to the very best dressed social media elite. Closely followed though by extremely old but ‘loved’ T-shirts with a plethora of holes, and of course faded. Old Levi’s were a hit at one time, but have been superseded by sarongs. Balinese and relics of your visit there 20 years ago work very well.

Appearing in your underwear, while still quite fashionable, should not be attempted unless the initial whiteness has disappeared and taken on a more homely greyish tinge. Any attire that is overly white plays havoc on video screens so avoid white at all costs. Washing your clothes regularly in cold water and mixing the coloureds with the whites is a quick way to help remedy this problem.

Footwear is not quite so important, but you do need to feel comfortable when appearing in front of a worldwide audience. Flip-flops are ok, but moth eaten slippers always give one a sense of comfort and confidence. Bare feet are of course very ‘in’ and lend a more natural feeling to your rants.

An important last note. Hats are not highly recommended unless you are bald and afraid of blinding people with the reflectivity of your scone. Balaclavas, Mickey Mouse masks and Roger Federer styled head bands are a no-no as are Polaroid sunglasses. If you want to add a little character and style though, you could be adventurous and comb your hair.

How To Dress For The Internet
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2 thoughts on “How To Dress For The Internet

  • 20/10/2011 at 4:00 pm

    Personally I prefer my totally rusty suit of armour, squeaky hinges and all. Anyone got a windmill that needs tilting at?


  • 20/10/2011 at 8:40 pm

    Derek, and for those who want to be popular online (like me :) should put D&G mark on their slippers – probably in Gold :)
    Or maybe just to cut someone’s already popular face from the poster and place it in front of the web-cam!! And if next time someone uses the different poster image, that’s okay, cause really cool people can do plastic surgeries :-)

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