Hands upIt’s a little two months since I moved my blog from Blogger to WordPress and enacted a change of names. Well, from Vandalism of Word’s to The Vandal is not such a big change I suppose, but it is far, far easier to spell. Now that really is a great bonus for me, considering my dreadful spelling and keyboard skills.

However, although the blog name and spelling issue is terrific news – well for me anyway – there are far grander issues that I have discovered since the move. I have unearthed all these wonderful new things called tools, plugins, metrics and all sorts of technical doodads to play with. So for the last few weeks I have been installing and uninstalling all sorts of nifty whatsamejigs, as is my way with new toys. I just can’t stop myself from fiddling, tinkering and usually ending up by locking up my site, computer and half of the Internet, but what the hell, I’m having fun.

Then I discovered that my new blog was an open target for nasty little things. Spammers, robots and phishers. No, the spelling is correct, not fishermen. So off I went again hunting down plugins and tools to kill off these horrid little creatures and you guessed it, I blew everything up yet again in my efforts to sanitise my blog and ended up having to start again from scratch. But, you didn’t even notice, did you? Well, that’s because I found out about caching my blog. Oh, don’t ask. It’s really super technical stuff and anyway, I don’t understand it myself, so how could I attempt to explain. Enough to say, it hides my stupid mistakes and you can read on blissfully unaware of my deranged missteps.

Anyway, this has been a long way around to finally getting to the point of this post. I’ve installed a ‘thingie’ that tells me who’s online at any given moment. Oh yes, spooky spying stuff I hear you say. Well, yes, in fact it is and it’s just so cool to see who is reading The Vandal. Unfortunately, it only gives me this information in a whole pile of incomprehensible number things that I just don’t understand so I still can’t tell the difference between you reading my blog and a nasty bot stealing my content or writing a stupid spam comment.

So my solution is this. Instead of adding another tool, plugin or metric, I would like to go for a more logical solution. Could you just hold up your right hand while you’re reading The Vandal and I’ll know for sure you’re not a bot. Oh, of course you can put it down when you type your comment. Thanks :)

Hands Up!
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18 thoughts on “Hands Up!

  • 23/09/2011 at 3:58 pm

    *raises right hand* Don’t hurt me! I’m not a bot!!

    • 23/09/2011 at 4:37 pm

      Not a bad system then I see Christina! I didn’t expect it to work so efficiently :)

  • 23/09/2011 at 4:22 pm

    Confused student who finds everything complex here *raises right hand and spits*
    Oh wait! That was French, wasn’t it? :)

  • 23/09/2011 at 4:23 pm

    Can I put my hand down now please? Trying to type with my left hand is a tad difficult.


    • 23/09/2011 at 8:40 pm

      Na. Keep it up there Jack. I’m sure you can type with your nose :) lol

  • 23/09/2011 at 4:42 pm

    With “right arm” raised I sincerely swear that I am not a “bot”.

    And may I say what a great read. Your blog posts never fail to be a delight to read. I can relate to your experiences with the “www”. Even taking on board solutions you have trialed. Thank you.

  • 23/09/2011 at 6:09 pm

    Hand up. Not a bot. Loved the post here. Cheers.

  • 23/09/2011 at 8:11 pm

    Sometimes, good old non-technical knowhow is the best. But how do you know there isn’t a bot out there that can raise its hand? (I’m having a bit of trouble getting my hand back down. Need a bit of oil in the joints, I think.)

    • 23/09/2011 at 8:39 pm

      It’s easy Catana. Bots don’t have arms. If they did, then they’d be fully developed robots :) Logical?

  • 23/09/2011 at 10:02 pm

    Hi Derek,
    Luckily I have people who deal with the technical stuff. Or at least one person. My best friend is a web/programming guy.

  • 23/09/2011 at 11:36 pm

    I am, of course, a Bot.. I am not raising my arms because I haven’t got any.

  • 24/09/2011 at 1:37 pm

    You’ve got me worried now! I’ll never be able to cope with all those gimmicky buttons!

  • 24/09/2011 at 2:06 pm

    Fortunately I’ve been typing for so long that I can do it one-handed. Bots can be a boon, but more often than not they are a bane. Stay human, Derek. :)

  • 24/09/2011 at 4:44 pm

    Derek, may I make a request? If I’m reading for too long, may I switch to my left? I don’t want my right arm to largely outgrow my left arm from all that work…that would be just freakish.

    • 24/09/2011 at 4:46 pm

      Really sorry Wesley. But you know what they say. Rules are rules! lol But you can brace your right elbow with you left hand :) Aren’t I kind! :P

      • 24/09/2011 at 8:58 pm

        *sigh* Oh ok then. I suppose I’ll have to resort to plan B: Perform repeated 12 oz. curls with left arm while raising right arm and reading with eyeballs and uh.. you know, that brain thing.

  • 04/02/2012 at 2:40 pm

    Interesting. As my hand has had some carpal tunnle issues. Seriously. I’m not complaining, it could be worse.(writing and typing too much) lol…. But I just dont understand the illegit process. Taking away the whole design. And the time one takes Eating up constructive work.

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