Plain EnglishI stumbled upon the website of Plain English Campaign and spent the good part of the next few hours having a great time. I particularly liked their Gobbledygook Generator and their Golden Bull awards (for the worst examples of written tripe). Here are some great examples from their site.

Gobbledygook Generator

We need a more blue-sky approach to functional policy programming.

Forward-looking companies invest in dot-com policy options.

We need to get on-message about our three-dimensional relative mobility.

This is no time to bite the bullet with our knowledge-based organisational matrix approaches.

We need to get on-message about our deconstructed monitored innovation.

It’s time that we became uber-efficient with our dot-com monitored projections.

We now offer diplomas in synchronised monitored paradigm shifts.

You really can’t fail with homogenised administrative time-phases.

We need a more contemporary reimagining of our millennial monitored alignment.

It’s time to revamp and reboot our dot-com asset projections.

At base level, this just comes down to facilitating asset capability.

Golden Bull Awards

The government calls insistently for more innovation. But doing things in a new way will not necessarily lead to better outcomes. So, what do we mean by innovation? We share the thinking of, for example, the Work Foundation, which sees innovation not “as a set of discrete and singular moments of change” but rather as “a culture or process in which drivers of change are embedded in and facilitated by the strategic outlook of the organisation.” To draw an analogy from nature, innovation may be thought of as ‘the new season‟s growth’ rather than a series of isolated ‘bright ideas’.
LSIS (Learning and Skills Improvement Service) – for a consultation booklet ‘Statement of strategic direction’ sent to schools

To outsource some aspects of our Finance transactional processing activities…
We will be transitioning certain transactional activities….
The goal is to make this transition as seamless as possible…
There will be two primary impacts to your organisation…
Does not impact your current terms…
Aiming to minimise any disruption to our business, and we expect our performance levels to stabilise soon after the transition period.
Coca Cola Enterprises Ltd – for a letter to distributors about deliveries

Go have a look for yourself and enjoy what Plain English Campaign has to offer.

Derek’s Vandal Blog
www.derekhaines.ch
Derek on Twitter
Derek’s Author Page

Gobbledygook
Tagged on:             

2 thoughts on “Gobbledygook

  • 29/04/2010 at 5:08 pm
    Permalink

    Golden Bull Award paragraph "LSIS (Learning and Skills Improvement Service) – for a consultation booklet 'Statement of strategic direction' sent to schools" is very, very sad.
    Save our young people!
    Cheers, Thea
    P.S. Loved http://plainenglish.co.uk and can see how hours could be lost at that place. :)

  • 29/04/2010 at 9:37 pm
    Permalink

    The really sad fact is that these people actually think they are communicating something (and are trying to appear intelligent and/or educated while they are doing it.)

    I have more tolerance for the Japanese and others whose signs are immortalized on Engrish.com. They may have picked an English word to put on a sign because they liked the way it looked, but were totally ignorant of the actual meaning. Engrish.com is another site to get lost in laughter on.

Comments are closed.