Old Age SucksAs one who is entering the so called ‘Autumn Years’, I have to tell you that it really is a pain. To be precise, it’s a pain everywhere. Legs, back, joints and probably reflected equally in my painfully grumpy attitude at times. My agenda is starting to fill with far too regular appointments with doctors, and far too few long drunken lunches complete with ribald conversation.

The other painful part of the ageing process is the all too frequent ………… now what was I going to say here?

Oh yes. The far too frequent lapses of short term memory and inability to concentrate on two things at the same time. Even concentrating on one thing at a time can be challenging. My doctor kindly informed me recently that brain shrinkage is a normal part of ageing, so at least I have a valid excuse now for ………?

Just this morning as I was preparing my breakfast, I couldn’t help but notice that it took me three attempts to find the right cupboard door to locate the plate I was looking for onto which I was going to butter my toast. A nice reminder that I could well be losing the plot in more than my writing. Pushing the button on my coffee machine, then going to the refrigerator and hesitating as to why I had gone there was another morning warning. Oh yes. The milk for my now long ready cup of coffee.

Of course I now have my dog to keep me fit and healthy, but I have decided that my four walks per day with him will have to renamed. So I now go off limping my dog four times a day, as my left calf has decided it would like to be in a permanent state of cramp. I can tell by the look in my dog’s eyes what he is thinking as I limp along behind him. ‘Come on you old bastard! I’ve got to pee on that fire hydrant over there. Urgently. So hurry up!’ As he drags me along by his leash.

Luckily for me though, my dog can remember the way back home.

Getting On Sucks
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14 thoughts on “Getting On Sucks

  • 02/12/2011 at 5:36 pm

    Don’t feel bad, I’ve been that way pretty much all my life. You get used to it after a while. I started a blog post this morning. Wrote two lines, then put it away while I did other stuff. I just went back to it, and found that I can’t remember what the point of the post was supposed to be. Maybe later?

  • 02/12/2011 at 7:27 pm

    What? Pardon? Where am I? The answer is Thursday – what!

    Where am I?

    Who are you?

    Doh – nurse, the screens – quick!


  • 03/12/2011 at 3:44 pm

    Oh, this made me laugh so! I am glad is not just me who wonders why there is no room on the fruit bowl, only to find out – after staring at such bowl for quite some time -that I had put the onions there!

    • 03/12/2011 at 8:03 pm

      Now this is something I haven’t experienced yet Fatima. Onions in the fruit bowl! But I’m sure the day will come. lol

  • 03/12/2011 at 4:17 pm

    OMG, thanks for this story. I needed a good laugh. I especially like the part about calling it “limping” the dog instead of walking. Hilarious!

    • 03/12/2011 at 8:02 pm

      The limping continues Joel. Except a little more regular as my poor little pup has a bad case of the ‘runs’! So it’s running ‘limping’ today! :)

  • 03/12/2011 at 5:27 pm

    Fabulously funny! Oh, this so brought back fond memories of my dear late mother; the number of times she went upstairs, only to forget why she went there in the first place. Still it kept her fit, I suppose! :o)

    • 03/12/2011 at 7:58 pm

      Thank you Carlie. So happy you enjoyed my post, but I just hope I can avoid being ‘late’ like my Mum too, for just a little while longer. :)

  • 03/12/2011 at 8:53 pm

    Good that you have a dog that gets you out and moving a few times a day…limping or not. My pup has grown fond of my favorite past time…napping.

  • 03/12/2011 at 9:41 pm

    You know your getting old when…

    In my case, several times recently when I make myself a plunger full of coffee, get distracted then can’t find it. Seriously Derek, I’ve found it on the window ledge in the bathroom and once I put the darned thing in the fridge. :D

    • 03/12/2011 at 11:55 pm

      So Jack. Now I know your secret of how to make iced coffee! lol

  • 04/12/2011 at 12:13 am

    Brilliant bit of writing, Derek. It’s the teeth and pressing 4 keys at a time on the keyboard that get get me. I spend more time pressing delete than I do typing and most of my life trying to choose between pain and false teeth. Pass the pliers……….

    • 04/12/2011 at 11:18 am

      Rob, do what I do, bite down hard on something. It saves those painful moments in the dentist’s chair. :D

  • 18/02/2012 at 2:34 pm

    How about turning the kettle on and anticipating that nice hot cup of tea? I hear the whistle, pour the boiling water into the cute little 2 cup pot. I time the brewing just right. I know you know where I’m going with this, but trust me, it gets ‘better’.
    When it’s perfectly brewed, I pour it into my cute little mug.
    I drink 3/4 of the nice hot cup of . . . WATER . . . before I even catch on! I’m saying to myself the entire time I’m drinking the ‘tea’, man, this tastes really weak!!!!!
    Mind you, I drink tea all day, everyday, and it took me how long to realize I was drinking a nice hot cup of boiling WATER??????

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