body languageYes, I know there has been more than enough written about body language. However, I have a little knowledge about this topic that I would like to share. Share? Well, I write, you do what the hell you want with it. If you know all about it, stop reading here and go visit The Onion.

For those who have maintained a little interest and are reading to this point, I will continue. I want to talk about eye contact. Now I make no claim to fame here. I am not that smart at all. I was lucky enough to attend a presentation by Alan Pease many, many, geeez, many years ago. I hate to use the word shit, but shit it was more than twenty years ago. When Alan Pease had dark hair. Ok, shit again. I’m getting old. And so is Alan Pease.

I digress. As I habitually do I’m afraid. Back to my point. Which was? Damn. Ok, time for a beer break.

Right, back now after a beautiful Chimey Bleu. And some delightful grissinis.

My point was this. A subtle movement of where you look at someone can make all the difference. Imagine a very small line extending from the middle of a forehead to the bridge of the nose. This is the difference between doing business with someone, and getting a contract signed, and attempting to engage someone in a long night of copulation.

Don’t believe me? Try it!

It is totally, completely and indisputably true. Aim for the centre of the forehead, and you are signing up the contract of your life. Aim a little bit lower, and you had better hope you had stocked up on condoms. Did I mention gender? No. So be very, very careful in what you do with your wandering eyes.

While on that point. What happens if you drop your sight? Well, you going to be in serious trouble. If your wandering eyes happen to drift towards your rendezvous’s mouth, you have seriously crossed the line of decency. Without putting a finer point on it, you have ventured out of the realms of standard copulation.

So, get your head up!

Unless ….. well, I would really prefer to discuss my anticipated new book here. It is not going well, and is in fact months, and months behind schedule. But do you care?

If you have managed to lift your eyes to a respectable level, let’s get on with signing the contract. If not, I hope you bought the condoms.

Derek’s Vandal Blog
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Body Language
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